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Wednesday, January 7, 2009

January 7, 2009

You know, I am beginning to think I really do have ADHD problem, seriously!! I read some of my writings and I am bouncing or I never finish to the point.. I know a couple of my nephews have ADHD, thanks to our family dysfunctional blessings. Or maybe, just maybe I am a hypochondriac. So, yah yah.. I need to work on being focused here.

I was just thinking about what my neice said about being a fan.. yah we had our laughs, and the whole sha-bang was utterly ridiculous.. I still laugh about it, she asked me what happened that it just went.. DROP.. and moved on. I told her, it's not a relationship.. just a zing-zang, really nothing there.. being a fan doesn't mean you are having a relationship.

I am seeing relationship in a way different way, I guess, then a lot of people. Maybe we all have our own different views. Relationship, I am thinking, is more out of our own EXPECTATION. We mentally jot down what we want and when that isn't met, then we fire verbal bullets to our other half. Basically I am cool about a lot of things, but when I see it's being leniently used... that just stings my behind and I ain't nice about it. And if the other half is working hard about certain things, I give my respect and support. I have always been a giving person, and now after what we went through, I am more strict.

Although I am not so laid back anymore, I observe and see if the change is coming. After forgiving and forgiving.. I have become a mean old lady.. I wonder if that's normal.. But I am so disgusted with constantly repeating the same scene over and over.. and I would just rather toss it and move on. However, I guess it's called love, keeps me from turning away but to keep on working on it. I have to admit, there are more days I am so thankful he is still in my life. I give him a big hug everyday and wish him a wonderful day. And I meant every one of them. Things we go through in our life prepares us and as a good friend said "Life molds us", and I have been thinking about that... it really does.

Grandson wants my attention right now.. So I better get off and tend to him.